Why I Will Not Study For My A-levels The Same Way I Did For My GCSEs
Hey pretties, I wanted to throw it back a lil’ to a stressful moment in my life which is called: GCSEs. However, with the upcoming war (A-levels) approaching, I will not be using the same battle techniques. 😜
To put it plain and simply, I took my GCSEs VERY seriously. But it got to a point where I had to ask myself “When is too much, tooooo much?” Now going back to year 10, my GCSE experience was calm (the same cannot be said for my year group but that shall all be explained in good timing - but I was okay). I didn’t have a breakdown every two weeks, I was still able to do the things that I wanted to do without feeling like I’ve wasted a lot of time. I did work experience which was a funny plus great experience.
But ya girl was only doing 3 exams that year and was to only gain one GCSE.
The following year (this year) I was to complete 19 exams which will therefore complete the remaining 8 GCSEs I had left…
To say the least, it was difficult. I started from September thinking that if I start as early as possible then it will be perfectly fine. Hell to the naw it was not!! From January onwards, I kid you not, I was doing 4+ hours a night.
Within those four or more hours, I would be writing notes, re-typing them, going over endless sites that could help me with it. I did everything and anything but my mind was telling me that it wasn’t enough. I could not just open one site, I had to open another 5 more.
Imagine coming home from 6 hours of school. Spending 1 hour of free time which would likely go to chores and eating something so I don’t collapse; then going upstairs to revise for the remainder of the evening.
I couldn’t even remember the last time I went to bed at 9 o’clock. The new time was 12am. This period was hard for me because looking back, I felt like I over-exerted myself because I didn’t want to fail, I didn’t want to do ‘okay’. If I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it properly.
Social outcome:
To put it simply, I outgrew a lot of things. All of a sudden, standing outside of school for an hour was not ideal. Going out on the weekends wasn’t that appealing? Forcing meaningless friendships for the sake of friendships or people liking me was just tedious and not worth it.All of sudden that changed because I had a goal that could actually shape my future for the better. So of course I over-exerted myself as much as I could because I didn’t want that to be taken away from me. I was hurt when people stopped talking to me, I would be thinking ‘what’s wrong with me’, and I was often called negative or moody by those around me because I was just so tired and not in the mood. Sometimes I felt really alone but I’m grateful as I had a some amazing friends who helped me through these times and they know who they are.
But as time grew – I had to kick that mentality away. Of course it didn’t just disappear. But I just stopped caring about other people’s opinion/perception of me was. They aren’t the ones writing my exams.
I know myself better than anyone. Of course I’m still growing up and finding my route and pathway, but I’ve always been real to me. If that makes others uncomfortable because I don’t want to filter how I feel for the sake of their own feeling,s without them considering mine – so be it.
Next step?
But back to my main point – studying the way I did caused me to lose weight, often have crying episodes, fits of pure anger/resentment (which some were ridiculously funny because of how petty I was being and others just awful).Overall it really impacted the way I think now. I always say this: GCSEs are not the same as they was 10 years ago – they possess a lot of similar traits to A-levels which is just a nightmare. Especially with the new reforms we had this year, I didn’t have a balance and that’s what caused me to stop and rethink for what I am yet to do in the future.
You can study 4-5 hours straight, but whether the outcome is effective or not depends on the how you use your time effectively. I will be re-evaluating more effective methods to study for my A-levels without feeling like I have to spend every ounce of my time on them because now I have a job, two hobbies and a lot more. My time IS more valuable than it was doing my GCSEs and I just need to organise it better without pouring it ALL into A-levels because it didn't help me PERSONALLY all the time.
My main point is... to all my girls and guys starting a-levels – put yourself first along with your grades. Make time for both. Not one or the other. Because not having a balance will cause more pressure and stress in the long run – which is why I’ll be studying for my a-levels a lot differently.
Thanks for reading, until next time💖💖
"In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you" - Andrea Dykstra
*Image from Pexels*
